Jun 18, 2023

It’s the little things

The other day I was sitting on my "throne" when I became so enraged I almost fell off. I was trying to start a new roll of toilet paper and couldn't get the end of it unstuck so it would roll. It's always the little things like that make me crazy!

Starting a new roll of paper towels is almost as bad but the worst is finding the beginning wipe in the middle of a tub of Clorox or Lysol antiseptic wipes. I suffer from a slight case of obsessive compulsive disorder and I struggle until I find that danged sucker. After all, if you don't get it right the first time, you will have to go through it again when you pull up a big wad of them somewhere in the middle. I got tired of trying to untangle those messes so I let my OCD take over and find the right one when I open a new tub.

I absolutely refuse to buy something encased in heavy plastic shaped like the item it contains. There are no sharp knives that can open those things, no fingernails that can open them, no machetes that can open them! It takes a chainsaw in most cases. I don't have a chainsaw so if the flashlight I need comes in one of those wrappings, I won't buy it. I guess a candle would just have to do.

Deliver me from storage and freezer bags that supposedly "zip" with ease. It ain't true! You have to have more patience than I have to make them work. After you finally get them zipped, you can't get between the two sides to open them. I was absolutely delighted the day I found those handy-dandy bags that have a little slider on them to zip them closed or open. What a relief! That is all I buy these days. It's either that or have the men in the white jackets come and haul me away.

Then there are those little plastic clips on loaves of bread that are supposed to keep the package closed! HA! I have trouble getting them off without breaking them. If I get them off, I can't get them back on without a struggle. I finally realized that all I have to do is throw them away and replace them with a twist tie. Those little twist ties have saved my sanity on many an occasion.

In 1982 an evil person contaminated acetaminophen tablets with potassium cyanide, which led to the deaths of several people. As a result, this led to reforms in packaging of over-the-counter drugs. On one hand I am very pleased; on the other hand I am just nuts. Again, how much trouble does it take to get the outside film and the inside caps off a bottle of anything? I don't want to die of cyanide poisoning but I also don't want to die of a stroke because I’m going nuts getting the wraps off the container! What's a body to do?

The list goes on an on. I guess I shall have to confine my complaints to opening the spout on a box of cheap wine, the opening of a box of kitty litter for my cat, battling fruit flies in the summer, battling ladybugs in October, etc. The list of little things seems endless but I’ve lived with all of them for a long time and will continue as long as I’m here. What a hoot!